The past year has come and gone, and it is that time of year again where we want to make big changes in our lives. During January, we create resolutions and feel determined that things will finally change. We often make big lists of all the things we want to do and make promises to ourselves that this year will be different. We say to ourselves, “I will finally do X, Y and Z,” and continue on with our day. As all the holiday bliss ends, the beginning of the year is a great time to reset and make positive changes. There seems to be one problem with this preparation for the “new year, new you” mindset, and that is resolutions often fail. Despite our best efforts, we repeatedly fall off the bandwagon and give up for the year. We once again promise ourselves that next year we will do better and the vicious cycle repeats.
I am 100% guilty of this, so I understand how frustrating it is for the same resolutions repeated year after year. This year I have changed my mindset on resolutions and instead set intentions for the year.
But what is problematic with resolutions and how can intention setting help you reach your goals during the year?
Resolutions
According to John C. Norcross, University of Scranton Psychology Professor, 60% of people will drop their New Year resolutions in six months, and less than 10% of New Year’s resolutions succeed. Studies have shown that as the year progresses, we drop our New Year’s resolutions for one reason or the other. We start motivated and excited to tackle some of our resolutions, but we end up back at the drawing board. Every year, we create new resolutions that become disillusioned and then drop them.
There can be many reasons resolutions fail, such as behavioral and lifestyle circumstances, but it is our thinking and attitudes towards resolutions that have the biggest impact. One big problem with resolutions is that we base them on problems we want to solve and negative thinking. We set resolutions because we don’t think we are good enough. We assume that once we achieve them all our troubles will go away and we will be happy with ourselves. When we use negative thinking to solve problems, we create barriers for ourselves. We are using our negative thinking about ourselves to create changes that will be hard to adhere to. We are putting all our eggs in one basket, expecting to achieve happiness, and this is problematic.
When there is a lack of planning with big goals, we tend to have an all-or-nothing attitude. When we set resolutions, we set goals for the future with no plans on how we will achieve them. Since there is little planning or action steps, we don’t set up anyway to stay accountable to ourselves. We make proclamations that we will do X, Y, and Z pat ourselves on the back and call it a day. Resolutions are also to specific for long-term goals, and we often overwhelm ourselves with too many BIG goals all at once. As a result, we give up at the slightest slip up and don’t look at the progress made so far. We lose perspective on all the small victories we made and don’t look at how small steps can lead to big changes.
Set Intentions
Intentions are statements we create to help guide and motivate our daily activities, thoughts, and actions. When you set an intention, you focus your energy in the present with an awareness that we are good enough. This helps shift our minds and actions in a positive direction toward change. It is easier to make mindful choices when we already know we feel value and have the inner support we need. It is more important to focus on how intentions make you feel about what is going on. The process of intention setting lets us reflect on this process and check in with ourselves.
When we check in using intentions, we have a better understanding of our needs. This helps encourage us to take little steps every day. Often these little steps create the momentum needed to make the big changes in our lives. We often jump in head first with goals that are bigger than we are ready to handle because we want to see results right away. As a result, we can lose this momentum and give up. Intentions are about the journey getting to the outcome, not just the results. The beauty with intentions is that we can set them up and change them on a whim for any reason. This helps us to adjust when needed to help remind us of our goals and to provide us with daily guidance.
Intentions allow us to live with purpose and with daily goals we can achieve, while resolutions set us up to reach goals with a fail or succeed mindset. When we try to live for the future, we set ourselves up for disappointment when we fail or slip up. Intentions are about the present moment and require that we accept that change is here. When setting intentions, word usage is vital in creating intentions that focus on the present. Avoid using words in the past or implied future and try to use terms in the present or active voice. For example, instead of saying “I want to lose 15 pounds” or “I need to lose 15 pounds,” you can say “I choose to eat healthy food today” or “I choose to have a healthy lifestyle.” When we use terms in the past or future, we create anxiety and stress surrounding our goals. When we use statements that focus on the present, we unconsciously allow our mind to believe that it already exists in our reality. We then adjust our days, starting with the right mindset to accomplish any tasks.
How to Set Intentions
1. Self reflection
Find some quiet time to reflect or mediate. Take some notes and ask yourself the following questions:
What is important in your life and why?
What makes you feel the most fulfilled or satisfied?
What are your values?
What makes you happy?
Make a list of your priorities and passions to help create intentions based on what you desire and value.
2. Create statements that are positive and in the present tense.
Avoid words that reflect the future, past and have negative connotations such as:
“I should,” “I want,” “I will,” “I desire,” “I wish,” “lose,” “don’t”
Try terms such as:
“I choose,” “I’m grateful,” “I have”
3. Let go of negative thinking and doubt.
The mind is a very powerful influence, and what we think reflects our feelings and actions. Let go by living in the present moment. Take a moment to yourself, breathe and remind yourself that you are enough. Repeat any intentions you have created and focus on them.
4. Use intentions to help make plans.
When intentions are more open and less specific, you are open to more possibilities. You can use your intentions to help make plans that align with your goals. You can use these open statements to take little action steps based on your needs. This allows you to create a plan that does not feel overwhelming. When creating a schedule for yourself, use intentions to brainstorm different ways in achieving your goals. There are usually more ways to do things and intentions remind us of that. Repeat them out loud or in your mind when needed. Write them down on a monthly, weekly, or daily basis to help you make choices that align with your goals and values. I would suggest writing them in your planner or in a phone app to reference when needed.
5. Celebrate progress.
Try not to focus on any slip-ups or failures during this process. It is likely you have more successes than a slip up here and there. Celebrate the little achievements as they can grow to bigger changes.
Intentions are less restrictive and flexible because they don’t place time constraints, allow us to do many things to achieve them and allow us to make better choices based on the present moment.
What intentions have you set yourself? Let me know below!
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